Susquehanna University's satirical news source
October 31, 2019
NEZEROTH, OUTER RIM- Clad in pearl-white robes trimmed with golden filigree, a
messenger from the Temple of the Higher Echelon reports that The Elders would, in fact, like a
word with you.
“It will take but a moment,” the messenger is reported as saying, gesturing to you...
Local Selinsgrove Man Declares: “He isn’t Racist—He Just Wants to Avoid All Minorities at All Costs”
Poltergeists Pacify after Party at TRAX
Campus Voices: Public Safety Receives Guns
February 28, 2019
Susquehanna Mall Cops Can't Handle Weed; Get Guns
February 26, 2019
University President Sees Shadow: Six Weeks of Finals to Come
February 19, 2019
Boomers in Blackface: Trust Us, It’s Impossible to Tell Grandpa His Halloween Costume is Actually Super Racist
SU Board of Directors Proposes New Hiring System
WARNING: They’re hydrated, BPA free, scrunchied out, and tired of your plastic-using bullshit.