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The Mass Deportation of a New Population: Trump Supports


During a recent rally in New Hampshire, presidential candidate and national drunk uncle, Donald Trump, said that starting on the first day of his presidency, he will begin mass deportation of both illegal immigrants and, more importantly, Facts.

“We’ve got a big problem, a huge problem, with Facts in this country. They are trying to confuse and deceive conservative voters. They’ve got to go!” Trump went on to say that recent Facts have started to contradict statements made by him and his campaign. He accused these Facts of conspiring with the liberal media in order to discredit him. “They’re trying to say that I don’t tell my supporters the truth. What a load. I’m the biggest truth teller ever, there’s a Fact for you.”

In response to critics who claim that he is supporting an anti-intellectual regime, the candidate responded saying, “Hey I’m not anti-smart, I’m just pro-America! I’m giving the people what they want. Do you think great leaders like George Bush and Ronald Reagan listened to Facts? Of course not, and they were smart men, almost as smart as me!”

Experts say that Trump’s proposal for deporting Facts is, at the very least, much more feasible than his plan for illegal immigrants. “It might be ambitious to attempt this sort of mass Fact exodus at a national level, but if you look at his campaign so far, it’s clear that Trump has real skill when it comes to getting rid of Facts,” says political analyst Sam Winningham.

When pressed about his anti-Fact agenda, Trump did concede that, “Some Facts, I assume, are good people.”

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