5 Things You Can Do to Make Your Halloween Costume Sexy
By: Richard Geschlechtsverkehr (the sex god)
People of SU, it’s that time of year again! Time to wear almost nothing to look kind of like what you’re trying to dress up as. From a sexy cop, to a sexy nurse there are multiple sexy costumes to choose from. But you’re not one of those girls. You’re not like the others. You want to be a storm trooper or something nerdy like that. However, your crush is watching! So let’s make that storm trooper a sex trooper or whatever. Don’t know how? Well here are some tips to make the people go huminahuminahumina this hallomahallomahalloween!
Add a pair of nice thigh high stripper boots to whatever you’re already wearing. Dommy Mommies are IN so show off them legs and add on some height!
Make sure your props are ready to go and a sexy color like pink or something. Also glitter, lots of glitter.
Cut the top of the costume into a deep v-neck and use a push-up bra to give some va va voom to your lack of boobs. Duct tape will be your best friend here. Don’t just be sexy… be irresistible.
Use a belt or rope to tie that waist tight! If you think it’s too tight it’s not tight enough. The redness in your face due to lack of oxygen can also act as a rosy red blush.
Replace the bottoms of your costume with a short skirt, a really short skirt. Or maybe no skirt at all! Just a really thick belt. And fishnets. Don’t forget the fishnets!
At the end of the day and after you put your sexy costume on and look in the mirror, I can’t help but wonder why we hold ourselves to these standards? Why do we have to appeal to the people by being sexy? This is the year of creativity and body positivity so what do you do to show that you’re brimming with confidence? Be naked. Strut down University Ave, tiddies in the wind, and whole pussy (or dick) out. Throw on a Stormtrooper helmet and some thigh highs and strut your stuff. God(s) gave you your bodyodyody so rock it.
The sexiest thing you can wear is a smile… And nothing else.
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