THE SQUIRREL

So, you want to get into clowning but don’t want to look like, well, a clown? Luckily, this is your one stop shop for becoming a class act! 1. Decide your type of clown. Clowning has a lot of history and in order to be passionate about what you do you have to be passionate about how you look; the type of clown you choose will dictate visual aspects of your clowning. The three options include: Whiteface, Auguste, and The Tramp. Whiteface is as it sounds. A completely white

This Halloween, a whimsical new show, RuPaul’s Clown Race arrives on Clown-toon Network. Twelve talented, terrifying, and questionably qualified clowns are juggling onto the scene to compete for the title of America's first clown superstar. The show will be hosted by our three jolly judges, RuPaul, Bianca Del Rio, and Art the Clown who will judge the competitors on the four main tenants of clowning. Those being Comedy, Uniqueness, Nonsense, and Tomfoolery. Every week the co

To Whom It May Concern, I am writing today as a taxpaying citizen of Acorn Valley Township. As a taxpaying citizen to both the Township and to the larger Skwerelle County, I care to express my deep concern and dislike for the motion recently passed by the HOA allowing the Flips, Tricks, and Circular Dicks Carnival Inc. to set up on the Lewis E. Jenkin Field for Youth Athletics. The Youth Athletics Field is not far from my property, and is a favorite spot for myself and for

Are you an up-and-coming ringmaster? An established circus whose clowns are aging out of their prime time for performance? Looking to expand your clown troop without running into any ethical conundrums? Then you’re in the right place! Here is a comprehensive guide on the history and modern practices in clown husbandry, so you can fill up that big top with lots of little clownlings without People for the Ethical Treatment of Clowns (PETC) being up your ass. Circus clowns are

Dear Jerald, Hello, fellow circus lovers. It has come to my attention that there is some confusion surrounding the identities of a couple of our resident circus positions, namely, our annoying, idiotic mime and lovable, amazing clown friends, who, to be clear, hold two separate positions. This confusion is very disturbing, as it affects me personally I care very much for my friends, who are mildly inconvenienced by this ignorant misconception. To be clear: clowns and mimes a

This documentary contains raw footage taken by Christopher Smith on October 31st, 2026. The following video contains bright flashes, maniacal laughing, grown men crying, and graphic images. Viewer discretion advised. [Black Screen. Then, clown picture. Black and white. Cue dramatic music.] Voiceover: I thought I was safe. I mean, I think we all did. [Picture of a little girl smiling with a balloon. Black and white except the balloon, which is bright red. Children’s laughter

If you know anything about me, I recently have become extremely obsessed with tiny clowns to the point where they have overtaken my life. Drawings of tiny clowns, tiny clay clowns, just the vibe of teeny tiny little goobers and I’m sold. Clown anarchy has descended upon my friend group and as we now live in a honk or be honked kind of world, the unworthy had to be weeded out. This obsession started on a humble Tuesday while scrolling through Pinterest searching for somethin

Hello all aspiring magicians! I’m so glad you all decided to come back for my brand new webinar about the totally awesome and completely real spells that I give away for free! This week we will be going over 3 totally fun new and very much real spells for you to use in your everyday life! Just turn to chapter three of your textbook Totally Real Spellz to begin. Spell 1: how to convince your mentor to pair you with a friend Have you ever really wanted to work with someone on a

5. Capitalism the Clown Say what you will about Bezos the clown; he gets things done. Despite several injuries and lawsuits against his company, this American clown has produced results! The master at making all your money disappear at just the click of a button, at products to mildly inconvenience the non-clown kind, and at unpaid assistants that may or may not get injured, he is truly a fine example of what the ideal clown should be. All he is missing is a flower that squi

JOE: And now, we're gonna head to Susan with a look...