A reformed hick
Jebidiah strikes back
Ah yes, south central rural Pennsylvania. As I drive by on the rocky, unkempt roads, I look out at the beautiful rolling landscapes from...
Wacky Wally Wackford
Hey, Wanna Join A Kangaroo Pyramid Scheme?
Have you ever wanted to get away with murder? Well now you can! By joining a simple pyramid scheme concerning kangaroos, armadillos,...
Bingus B. Berton
Voting is a scam
Dear President and friends, I am sending this letter regarding this truly preposterous “electoral college”. In my research for this...
Mary-Jane Magic
Camping In The Woods
I want to escape from the normal. I finally decided to change scenery.
susquirrel
A Non-Comprehensive List of Things We Could Have Done Instead of Firing 18 People Genuinely WTF
By: squirrel hivemind Suck up more to the donors. Write off students as dependents on our taxes. Ask Joe Biden for money. Just call him...
Liv Chartreau
THIS is the Problem in Philosophy
By: Liv Chartreau (chartreau@susqu.edu if anyone higher-up feels compelled) How much do you, dear reader, appreciate the major you have?...
quill Staff Writer
The End of “Comedy”
Congratulations! You, dear reader, have outlived the terrible publication that was The Squirrel.
L’écureuil
BREAKING NEWS: Benny The Riverhawk Gets Julius Caeser-ed in a Las Vegas Motel Room?!?!
Benny the Riverhawk, beloved mascot and former supreme leader of Susquehanna University, has been found brutally murdered in a motel room.
susquirrel
An Open Letter to Scott Kershner
Hey man, remember that email you sent out ___ days ago? Yeah, I’m still mad about that.
