THE SQUIRREL

Hi kids, it’s Elmo! As you may have heard, Elmo is no longer working at PBS. SAD!!!! :( ...

Let’s start with what I am. I collect all real Labubus, and I am married to one...

Dear Campus Community, We here at SU are so excited to announce the beginning of a new project...

Does your school hate food and joy and you? Are you slowly wasting away...

Welcome to Acorn Valley, the Secondest Town in PA! I’m sure you’ll be moving here soon whether you want to or not. This town has a way...

Welcome to the library! Don’t mind the stacks of legal books everywhere… there’s yet another trial on the size regulations on carabiners....

WE THE PEOPLE of Acorn Valley, Pennsylvania, in order to form a more perfect neighborhood, establish justice for all lawn shapes, ensure neighborly tranquility, provide for common sense, promote gardening welfare, and secure the blessings of the local squirrels, do ordain and establish this constitutional declaration of lawn shape independence for the united homeowners of Acorn Valley. When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one neighborhood to dissolve th

Becky Has anyone seen my cat, Fuckface? I let him out to chew on some grass and when I came to wait for him to inevitably throw it up, he was gone?? Help pls! dearest_debra My dog (Albert) has also gone missing recently! My wife took the printer in the divorce, so if you can print posters please reach out! 😀 Agatha Winthrop It was my printer. Also, his name is Arnold. Ridiculous. deputy-davis Let me know if you need a lawyer. 777-777-6969 Matilda Witherspoon Fuckface

Hello one and all and welcome to Agatha Winthrop’s Horoscopes! Whether you know everything about astrology or nothing at all, I am here...

There is calamity at the courts this week as neighbors MacKensaileighlee Stephens and disgraced Vatican member Cardinal Robin feud over a...