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Bingus B. Berton

Voting is a scam

Dear President and friends, I am sending this letter regarding this truly preposterous “electoral college”. In my research for this...

Mary-Jane Magic

Camping In The Woods

I want to escape from the normal. I finally decided to change scenery.

susquirrel

Ceiling Eater

susquirrel

A Non-Comprehensive List of Things We Could Have Done Instead of Firing 18 People Genuinely WTF

By: squirrel hivemind Suck up more to the donors. Write off students as dependents on our taxes. Ask Joe Biden for money. Just call him...

Liv Chartreau

THIS is the Problem in Philosophy

By: Liv Chartreau (chartreau@susqu.edu if anyone higher-up feels compelled) How much do you, dear reader, appreciate the major you have?...

quill Staff Writer

The End of “Comedy”

Congratulations! You, dear reader, have outlived the terrible publication that was The Squirrel.

L’écureuil

BREAKING NEWS: Benny The Riverhawk Gets Julius Caeser-ed in a Las Vegas Motel Room?!?!

Benny the Riverhawk, beloved mascot and former supreme leader of Susquehanna University, has been found brutally murdered in a motel room.

susquirrel

An Open Letter to Scott Kershner

Hey man, remember that email you sent out ___ days ago? Yeah, I’m still mad about that.

susquirrel

WE FUCKING DID IT!!!

By: J Money Swag SELINSGROVE, PA- Kevin Hamilton has officially left the building. Like literally. He has left (with his bitch, Peter)....

susquirrel

Inflation? I think not

By: Devin Yassilton After yet another student was hospitalized for malnourishment I’ve decided it is finally time to share my theory of...

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