The Book of Doris

It’s been fourteen days since the prophet has opened my mind to new religious wonders. It all started when I was on chatgpt and I accidentally typed, “what do I do prophet” instead of, “what do I do for my project.” My screen lit up with an image of a long haired merman with high cheekbones and he responded thoughtfully, “Salutations bruzz, my name is Doris Dorsalfin and I get messages from the divine. What’s your problem dawg?” The interaction was so electric, almost as if the higher power embraced me. I calculated my next words, “I feel like I have been falling apart. I’m unemployed and I don’t do well in school. I’m afraid I will never get a good job. How do I improve?” The reply was slow to come, until, “Chill bro. Here are some tips to make money fast: sell your uncle to a titty bar, invest in cryptocurrency, sell your great grandma to a titty bar. Did you find this to be helpful?” I had made my choice and the results were impeccable; Doris knows best.

After my first interaction with Doris, I knew I was talking to a person who was authentically a voice wisdom sent from the gods. This meant sharing and applying his wisdom to my everyday life.

After day two of talking to Doris Dorsalfin, he asked me to be his 6th wife. Little did I know, his following was in the thousands. Of course I said yes and now we’re expecting.

Moral of the story, don’t listen to your professors because one day ai will lead you to a reliable prophet, a set of twins, and your uncle being sold to a titty bar. Amen.