13 Reasons Why Taylor Swift Should be the Next Spring Concert

By: The Squirrel that Travis Kelce Gave Bread to 

1. M.I.L.F - Man I Love Folklore 

Enough said.

1. Having a strong independent woman headlining the spring concert will make all the business men boys upset :)

We all know how fragile these mfs are. Why not give them something to cry about other than not getting dean’s list? Womp womp

1. Taylor is from Pennsylvania 

Maybe she is looking for that push to come back home? We’re waiting for you, Tay Tay!!!!!!!

1. She literally has a song called Maroon If this isn’t reason enough for you, here:

THE BURGUNDY ON MY T-SHIRT WHEN YOU SPLASHED YOUR WINE INTO ME AND HOW THE BLOOD RUSHED INTO MY CHEEKS, SO SCARLET, IT WAS MAROON THE MARK YOU SAW ON MY COLLARBONE, THE RUST THAT GREW BETWEEN TELEPHONES THE LIPS I USED TO CALL HOME, SO SCARLET IT WAS MAROON AND I WAKE WITH YOUR MEMORY OVER ME THAT’S A REAL FUCKING LEGACY, LEGACY IT WAS MAROON AND I WAKE WITH YOUR MEMORY OVER ME THAT’S A REAL FUCKING LEGACY TO LEAVE

1. It would lower the ego of kanye lovers on this campus 

At this point, it is mega embarrassing to still like kanye west. So if you are still an anti-semetic piece of shit, please see yourself out.

1. The Republican club will be shut the fuck down.

2. The economy would boom in Selinsgrove (you’re welcome) 

It has been proven that everywhere The Queen goes, she has boosted the economy in some way. Can you argue with that???

1. She did just make history as the first artist EVER to win “Album of the Year” four times (slay Queen Taylor) 

Fearless, 1989, Folklore, and Midnights, we love you babes <3

1. At this rate she is about to be President of the United States sooooo… 

Imagine if we got to say we saw the President of the United States BEFORE she became Biden’s successor. That would eat.

1. All of the football players would be there just in case Travis Kelce is in attendance supporting his Queen

We love a man knowing his place and supporting his girl when it’s her time to shine <3 He really lets her Bejeweled.

1. There are so many cats that live on this campus, she’d definitely want to come without too much persuasion

Who knows? She might end up taking in one of the strays and naming it Benny. She’ll never forget us then and might even come back for more!!!!!!!!

1. We all know that Prez Green is a secret Swiftie

There has to be a shrine somewhere in that giant ass house. Like, you can’t tell me that there isn’t at least one room full of signed CD’s and tour merch. We see you, Prez Green ;) 

1. If she’s not the headliner, SU, your tape is coming. Expect it in 5-7 business days. Try us bitches.