Guess Who Won "Most Terrifying" costume this Halloween!

Local White Male Brad Smith reportedly won the “Most Terrifying” entry at the Townsville Community Center Halloween Party Costume Contest, without modifying his normal appearance. Smith arrived in a dapper Vineyard Vines polo shirt, Ralph Lauren Bermuda shorts, and a pair of Sperry boating shoes, Ronald Reagan beer koozie in hand.

The judges, Local Black Woman Christine DiAye, Local Hispanic Ronand Rodriguez, and celebrated author Toni Morrison reportedly picked Smith out of the crowd almost immediately.

“The way he kept breathing exclusively through his mouth while making intense eye contact with my chest, sold it for me” said DiAye. “And when I saw him put something in my drink I knew for sure he was the one.”

“His devotion to really showing up as the most dangerous person in the room was extraordinary” offered Rodriguez. “Usually we just have some werewolves growling or something like that, but this guy went all out. He even told me that I should go the fuck back to where I came from and that I should stop stealing his jobs,” he giggled, “I was born in Ohio! I genuinely felt that I was not welcome in his presence, terrific stuff!”

Morrison gushed, “This is the kind of post-modernist commentary that really stands out to us and I think it’s important that we, as a society, recognize the subversive meta-narrative that white straight male individuals like Smith are opening our eyes.”