Camp Bachelor

By: denmommy13

Guys, I have something to admit. It’s been weighing heavily on me and I just need to get it out. Here it goes: I am obsessed with The Bachelor. It’s not easy for me to say but it feels so good that I finally can get it out. Unfortunately, I have no choice but to insert my obsession into literally every single thing that I do. That being said, I am going to be a first time camp counselor this summer and I just know what is coming.

I am expecting these children to turn this into a real life fucking Bachelor and I am prepared to be Jesse fucking Palmer in any way possible (bye bye Chris Harrison, I never really liked you anyway). The camp requires us to do a week long training and in that they gave us tips on how to steer the kids away from any kind of ‘love feelings’ and point them in the direction of what camp is really about (I don’t actually know what it’s about), but being 100% honest I don’t think I can follow those rules. If there's one thing about me, it's that I am never going to get in the way of love. 

If one of my campers needs advice on how to talk to the boy in cabin three, I will never, EVER, turn them away. I need to make sure these young ladies are confident in themselves and their ability to be independent queens. I’ll be back weekly with updates, stay tuned Camp Bachelor fans!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's what you missed in Week 1!!!! I have already discovered who our main Bachelor is and they keep calling him Appleseed, so I’m pretty sure that it’s Johnny. Something that I’ve caught onto is that these young ladies are using code names for literally ALL of the boys, this my friends is making my job very hard. In the middle of the week my campers and I had a Girls Only meeting so I could check in on how everyone is doing and lets just say I got the tea!!!!!! They all confirmed my suspicion that Johnny (?) is our Bachelor!! Apparently there's some other boys that are close runners up but eight out of ten of my campers have a crush on Johnny (?) (!!!!). I think I’m going to do these meetings weekly in order to really get all the info.

Here’s what you missed in Week 2!!!! This week us staff have found out that s’mores fixings have been disappearing and let me tell you I have figured out why! At our Girls Only meeting, they told me that Johnny (?) has been GIVING THEM OUT TO ALL THE GIRLS HE LIKES. This threw me into a freak out because this is really getting close to the Bachelor!!!!!! S’mores = Roses! COME. ON. This is exactly what I was hoping would happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s what you missed on our final week!!!! There has been a lot of tension in the cabin and I’m starting to regret not following the romance rules… Apparently Johnny (?) can’t pick between two girls and of course they are both in my cabin. At this point I am encouraging these ladies to ditch this boy and become besties. I am starting to see this drama might not be worth it. 

Camp is over and after these experiences I am DONE with the real life Bachelor. I realized that watching it through a screen is so much better than actually having to deal with this shit. I will just live vicariously through my TV screen, cause FUCK THIS. Bye.