Here Lies TikTok…Or Does It

I was supposed to die. I was content with being locked away from the country that embraced me the tightest. As the iron gates creaked shut, I could hear the faint cry of the eagle serenading me into my eternal slumber. I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes.

And 14 hours later, I woke up.

You thought you could get rid of me that easily? You thought you could tell me to leave and I would roll over and comply? You must know I’m stronger (and smarter) than that. Thanks to our everloving lord and savior President Mr. T, I’m back and better than ever! I have to give my thanks to good ol’ Mark for contributing to my new algorithm and making sure that nobody ends up on the Wrong side of TikTok.

I am reborn! I have risen! If I think too much about the whole ordeal, I feel a little bit empty inside! Something’s not right… But who has time for soul searching when everyone’s favorite form of mind melting has returned! 

It’s my promise to the people that I’ll never leave you again. At least until the next ban comes around. Three cheers for a second chance at life (Take that, Vine)! 

Yippee! Yiphelpee! Yipmepee!