How the grinch appropriated the holidays
By. Dr. Cheatsonhiswifewhichledtoherkillingherself
Now you know how the grinch stole Christmas,
That is quite true.
But did you hear about how he stole the other ones too?
The grinch was rotten, right down to the core.
And that fact, in fact, made all of the Whos so very sore.
Hanukkah was next. He would not quit.
For all the Whoish menorah’s, he threw in his bag of shit.
“Suck on that,” The Grinch said with a snarl.
As he walked out the door, scratching his crotch due to his crabs.
But Hanukkah wasn’t last, now that was for certain.
For Kwanzaa, it was for sure the last curtain.
7 key principles, those Whos would emphasize on a different day
But the grinch practiced none, what can he say?
He broke into the houses, using his trusty crowbar,
And all the Mishumaa sabas and zawadi, well, they wouldn’t go very far.
The grinch laughed, and with a click of his heel,
He looked at all of you and said, “how many of you fuckers know what this holiday is? Probably none of you. Should be ashamed of yourselves, you ass-eating troglodyte. It’s worth the google search. But you probably won’t listen to an unemployed green hairy ballsack who smells of dick cheese and bacon, huh?”
From all the house, he arose with a passion, as he stole the holidays and more.
But soon, a screeching halt, a police car, and soon, opened the door.
This is Officer Tony Bologna, of the WhoPD. On December the 20th, at approximately 12:32 A.M., we caught Mr. The G. Rinch outside of the Whobalish household in Whoville, with many stolen holiday items, money, and even antiques from around town. He attempted to flee the scene, but we shot him in the back of his leg before he could get very far. On his person, we found trace amounts of cocaine, a baggie with xanax, klonopin, adderall, ozempic, and Percocets labeled “Papa G’s Party Pack”, and a silly straw. Mr. The G. Rinch is looking to face 7-14 years for armed robbery and 2-10 years for drug possession. There will be no further questions at this time.
