Everybody STOP Believin’
By: I’ve had enough
Forty two years ago the band Journey released their song Don’t Stop Believing detailing the trip of a small town girl and a city boy who took the midnight train going anywhere and no one has been free of it since. You’ve heard it. I know you’ve heard it. If you say otherwise I literally don’t believe you. Stop trying to be special. You’ve heard this goddamn song, it’s everywhere. It was like THE song on Glee during season 1. And you know what, honestly I think that version might be better. Lea Michelle, if you’re reading this (you’re not), sorry for all the times I’ve said you suck, you can sing.
People play this shit at parties, at weddings, don’t even get me started on Karaoke. I swear it’s always on at least one radio station. Friends and family alike shove it down your throat. It goes on and on and on and on. Streetlights, People, that god forsaken boulevard— we get it!!! You people have been holding on to the goddamn feeling since 1981. LET IT GO. Aren’t you tired? Have you heard other songs? There are so many of them. There’s gotta be at least two you like.
People are quick to say that new music is bad, and sure, maybe some of it is, but this song is not the best thing ever written, it’s just not. Don’t let some Gen-Xer with a superiority complex tell you that you don’t get it. The lyrics are nothing. They’re empty. They vaguely describe what’s going on and say what a zillion other people have said in other, better ways. It’s like your dad trying to give you advice, he doesn’t know what to say, and Steve Perry doesn’t either. If you understand motivational posters, you understand this song, I promise.
At the end of the day, you should listen to what you want to. Any and every genre: pop, rock, jazz, Hungarian throat singing, techno, screamo, metal, whatever nonsense adjectives spotify has strung together this time, heck, even country. If you still ONLY want to listen to Don’t Stop Believin’ on loop do it (you scare it). But do it on your own time. Stop making me listen to it. If you manage to keep the song away from me for thirty years or so, my system can be completely detoxed, and maybe, just maybe, if you play it in my presence I will no longer be filled with rage. I might bob my head a little. I might even start believin’.
