Things I thought were obvious until I came here

By: Becky Wood

There are a lot of people who lack common sense and I’ve known that since before I could talk (probably), but people here take it to another level! There are just some things that I thought were even below common sense level but I guess not! Here is my list of things I thought were obvious until I started here at SU:

• Taking your lint out of the dryer: Are you trying to start a fire? Your mom and dad aren’t here to do it for you and neither am I!

• Holding doors for people who are less than 5 feet away: Are you incompetent or just inconsiderate, you tell me.

• Not holding doors for people 50 feet away: You’re making people run so they don’t feel judged for taking too long. Personally, I don’t run. I take my sweet ass time, it's not my fault you’re stupid.

• Showering.

• Not cutting in line: Seriously, are we still in 1st grade at the lunch line in the cafeteria? You’re an adult, wait your turn.

• Peeing in the right place: Not on the seat, not on the floor, not in the sink, not in front of other people’s doors even if they do deserve it, and certainly not in the kitchenette!

• Going to classes: You pay to go here, so so so much money to go here! You are wasting your money or I guess your parents’ money when you skip classes all the time. Just drop out, then you’ll never have to go to classes then.

• Saying thank you: Especially to workers! When someone serves you your food how hard is it to say thanks? I mean really. And don’t say “It’s their job,” you’re too young to be a Karen.

• Being quiet: There is no way you guys behave like this and are this loud in your parents house so why are you being this loud here? Don’t stomp around and bark (I’m looking at you football team) we are people not dogs.

• Brushing your teeth: The mask mandate has been lifted, this means we can all smell your bad breath again for god’s sake brush your teeth, or at least pop a breath mint.

• Covering your mouth/nose when you sneeze or cough: Is it really that hard to lift your arm up? This is something we are taught in kindergarten and kindergarteners are better at it than SU students.

• Not picking up squirrels: I understand, they are adorable. However, rabies is not!

• How to drink out of a water fountain: Don’t drink from the water bottle filler you fucking weirdos, also don’t put your mouth on the spout!

• Not walking in on someone in the Smith Hall second floor southside shower (first stall) and then saying “Oh shit” and walking away leaving the curtain open, stranding an innocent showerer until some kind soul closes it for them. I know you heard the water running.

I mean really, aren’t you guys embarrassed? You’re supposed to be adults capable of living on your own and you can’t even do these basic tasks that a 10 year old could do? I’m here to publicly shame all of you who are incapable of this obvious shit. There should be a common sense test we all have to take in order to be admitted,I swear half of you wouldn’t have been accepted and we’d be better off for it… I made a sample one, if you’re concerned of your idiocy levels take the quiz below!