Voting is a scam

Dear President and friends, 

I am sending this letter regarding this truly preposterous “electoral college”. In my research for this upcoming voting season, I was made aware that individual votes don’t matter as much as the electoral college. In accordance with this ridiculous system, I enrolled to this “electoral college,” and by golly gee is it exhausting. My complaints are numerous, as are the faults of this redundant system.  

For starters: the food is terrible, and I’d suppose that if paying thousands of United States dollar currency just to vote wasn’t bad enough, the eatery would push you over the edge. You can trust me, as I am the finest food critic in all the land. Additionally, these “classes” have nothing to do with voting nor the major I had chosen to study. A film class for 3 ½ hours? At night? Truly exasperating. And these young people screaming in the late hours of the night are greatly conflicting with my bedtime (8pm to be precise).  

Continuing this thought of outrageous finances, I would say that it may be rather difficult for individuals of certain socioeconomic status to access establishments like this (unlike me of course as I am the richest person ever). In reviewing that information, I hope it reminds you that the structure of this nation has put many minorities in difficult financial situations. This must affect both the voter ballot and the representation of this nation and its people, as well as restricting them from any other benefit of this “college” This seems rather unfair to me, but as I’m not effected by this, I find it difficult to truly care. 

If I didn’t know better, you could convince me that this is a whole separate system that happened to also be named college. Fortuitously, I do know better, as I know everything there is to know. Clearly, I know more than whatever imbecile created such a convoluted system. 

This whole process has left quite a sour taste in my mouth (much like the food), and at the expense of sounding accusatory, I’d say voting is a scam! I hope my letter reaches you in good enough wits to reconsider this ancient idea of an “electoral college”.  

A deeply indebted, 

Mr. Bingus B. Berton  

P.S. This is my finest carrier pigeon, treat him well. He only responds to Frank.