Following Monday’s tragic mass shooting in Las Vegas, the Nation Rifle Association has issued a statement praising the crucial role of firearms in the suicide of the shooter. Amidst a rekindled national debate about gun control laws, the NRA urged Americans to remember that the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a bad guy with a gun and a guilty conscience.
While gun control activists were quick to point out that the shooter could have committed suicide in any number of other ways, a spokesperson for the NRA clarified, saying, “guns are simply designed for this sort of thing. Sure, he could have used a hammer or a knife, but the fact is that no knife has the carefully engineered, second amendment guaranteed killing potential of a legally obtained, properly operated firearm.”
“Obviously what happened was awful,” added the spokesperson, “but it’s important to realize that without the gun the shooter used to kill himself who knows how much worse it could have been.”
Write for The Squirrel
We always welcome new writers and thinkers so send us ideas, articles, headlines, comics, or any other satire your brain had cooked up while you read.
Comment on The Squirrel
Share your thoughts, whatever they may be, with the writers, editors, and creators of The Squirrel.
Join The Squirrel
SU students are welcome to join us on Thursdays at 5:30 pm in Fisher 318.