The Crater: Eras Edition

Welcome to the library! Don’t mind the stacks of legal books everywhere… there’s yet another trial on the size regulations on carabiners. My name’s Matilda, and my family has been working at this library since the foundation of this town. Speaking of which, a little birdy told me that you’ve been wanting to learn more about the origins of Acorn Valley… 

It all started with a bang! Literally. About 60 million years ago, a miniature asteroid struck our lovely Peninsula. The resulting impact, which obliterated one singular stegosaurus, created the crater that we know and love today! 

When my ancestors first settled here, they deemed the crater inhabitable. During those times, it was used as an inground jail. Simply put, criminals were pushed down and couldn’t get back up (Life Alert wasn’t a thing just yet). When the pile of bones became too immense for the town to cover up, they resulted in filling the crater with waste from the new aqueduct system, and opening a new lake!

When children started to be born with birth defects, leaders realized that it might not be a good idea to pump it full of shit. So, around 1975, they cleaned it out and opened up some skate parks! You should’ve seen me shred on those pipes… I was a menace. However, those glory days didn’t last for long. As you might know from other history books, the Satanist Scare cracked down on everything rad. Around 1985, Acorn Valley requested the help from the Vatican itself to cleanse the skateboarding, Dungeons and Dragons demons that resided in the bottom of the crater. Cardinal Robin (who still resides in this town!) blessed the water that filled up the crater again, bringing us the Crater Lake we know today. 

As for more recent history, Crater Lake is home to our high school hockey teams. The district championship, which is always between the same two schools, is also held here. Kids these days are always making up some new story about the lake, talking about “monster this” and “cult that”. I call it a bunch of malarkey. But aye, there’s the rub; everyone flocks to the crater eventually. It’s like it’s some kind of curse on us all. But who am I to know, I’m just a librarian!