College Student Psyching Herself Up for ‘Really Awesome’ Nap Tomorrow

In an exclusive interview with The Squirrel, Susquehanna University sophomore Maggie O’Donnell reported that she’s spent the last several hours mentally and physically preparing for “like, the longest nap ever,” which she plans on completing tomorrow afternoon.

“After all the time I’ve spent getting ready for this, it’s a little nerve-wracking to think it’s actually going to happen,” O’Donnell confessed. “But I just have to stay focused. I’ve earned this.”

O’Donnell said that establishing an inconsistent sleep routine has been vital to keeping her in peak physical condition. “Experts will tell you to get eight hours of sleep a night, but you’ve got to pay attention to your own body. I know if I sleep more than about five hours, my performance suffers.” O’Donnell went on to say that it helps to remember at around midnight that she has an assignment due the next morning.

“I mean, you can stay up till 4 a.m. doing almost anything, but there’s nothing like panicking over a deadline to ensure you’ll be really exhausted the next day.”

O’Donnel’s academic advisor, Professor Kurt Walsh, has been overseeing her training. When asked what advice he had for other students hoping to achieve O’Donnell’s level of success, he emphasized the importance of diet.

“Some foods give you energy for awhile, but then you crash,” Walsh said. “So you’ve gotta know which foods those are, and then fill up on them about thirty minutes beforehand.”

At press time, analysts predicted that O’Donnell would maintain her flawless record of failing to complete a full sleep cycle and would wake up from her nap even more tired than before.