Joe Biden Totally Not Jealous of Richard Branson on Vacation with Obama


After photos surfaced of former United States President, Barack Obama, palling around with business mogul and weird-uncle-of-the-world Richard Branson, sources have reported that former Vice President Joe Biden is definitely not even a little bit jealous of the sudden bromance that seems to have formed between the two luminaries. The photographs, taken near Branson’s home on Necker Island in the British Virgin Islands shows the Obamas and Branson engaging in a friendly kitesurfing competition and some much needed rest and relaxation on the sandy beaches.

However, despite some public speculation, Biden says the photos didn’t bother him in the least after scrolling through them for the fifty-sixth time while refreshing his Buzzfeed and Huffington Post pages every few minutes to see if any new pictures or articles about the vacation ones had been posted. Biden, who served as Obama’s VP for his eight-year term, developed a close friendship with the former president, much to the delight of the internet community. Now, with the former first family enjoying their newfound free time, and Biden returned to his home state of Delaware, America’s favorite second-in-command says he’s totally okay with Obama making new friends.

“Look, I’m not one to tell him what he can or can’t do, I’m glad he’s branching out and meeting new people, you know? I mean, I love the guy to death, but sometimes he was just very clingy, I mean, giving me the Medal of Freedom, can you say desperate?” Biden told The Squirrel, laughing nervously and picking at his fingernails. When pressed on whether he felt left out of the tropical festivities, he glanced longingly out of the window at the snow covered street below before responding, “No, I’m quite happy where I am. Who would want to be out with their best friend in the Caribbean when you’ve got the great state of Delaware right here?”

At the end of the interview, The Squirrel reports that Biden could be seen checking his phone feverishly for a response to a text he sent to Obama three days earlier while muttering, “I knew there was someone else, I just knew it.”

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