We hope you got liberal this Halloweekend with these River Hawk inspired outfits, and your professors begged you to sleep with them in exchange for higher course evaluation marks.
Sexy Tour Guide
Strap on an orange polo crop top and khaki booty shorts, and take that hot tamale high school senior and his even spicier dad on a tour of your private campus.
Sexy Public Safety Officer
Upgrade your slutty cop costume by downgrading your law enforcement powers, professional qualifications, and popular perception.
Sexy John Green
It’s just a bowtie.
Sexy Gingko Berry
Unleash your natural stench and inner earth goddess by adorning yourself in the ripe, radiant fruits of luscious Kurtz Lane.
Sexy Series of Swastikas
Antisemitism isn’t just SU’s hottest gossip, but the spooky season’s hottest look. Concentrate your gal pals for this slutty group ensemble straight from the Third Reich. Feeling bold and flirty? Increase religious and sexual tension by letting your guy friends in on the gag as Sexy Gestapo—ooh those Aryan asses!
No matter what sexy costume you pick this Halloween, remember to objectify your body with confidence and you’ll always look better than your roommate.
Try any of these bold ideas? Send us pics of your Sexy GO Pole Dancer or Sexy Suitcase Sal to be featured in our next article!
Write for The Squirrel
We always welcome new writers and thinkers so send us ideas, articles, headlines, comics, or any other satire your brain had cooked up while you read.
Comment on The Squirrel
Share your thoughts, whatever they may be, with the writers, editors, and creators of The Squirrel.
Join The Squirrel
SU students are welcome to join us on Thursdays at 5:30 pm in Fisher 318.