Nation Finally Takes Action by Ostriching


As the Caribbean recovers from hurricanes Irma, Harvey, and Maria, wildfires ravage the Northwest, riots continue in Spain, earthquake recovery in Mexico slogs onward, massive sexual assault scandals break across Hollywood, and yet another deadly mass shooting breaks out in Texas, people all over the US have begun to engage in a fun, new social media craze to show their support for victims everywhere: ostriching. You may have seen it on any social media platform. People everywhere have begun to completely bury their heads in weird piles of things with relevant hashtags in order to express to all their friends exactly which victims they’re worried about.

Some social media users have really gone all out: “As soon as I saw my best friend posting photos of ostriching under all his country music records to express solidarity with the victims of the Las Vegas shooting, I knew it was war,” said Chuck, a teen from Alabama. He later uploaded a similar message with his head buried in a pile of poker chips.

Less successful pictures have included a picture of an anonymous Instagram user ostriching in a pile of American flags with the hashtag #NationalAnthem. Angry viewers protested in the comments until it was deleted, saying it was “tasteless,” “unpatriotic,” and “against the supportive spirit of the movement.”

“There are actual humans dying out there,” said an irate local after reporting the incident. “Ostriching was meant for more than this. This is disrespectful on so many levels.” This same individual told us that his favorite ostriching photo of the week was a tweet from President Donald Trump himself with his head in a pile of golf balls and #Charlottesville, #BuildtheWall, and #Emails tagged.

It is still unclear whether any of these movements have been linked to any official fundraising campaigns or associated nonprofits. “It’s not about causes,” Emily, a New York local who submitted a photo to us of herself ostriching in the grass clippings of her parent’s four-acre lawn, told The Squirrel, “It’s about community and support. Showing people that they’re not alone.”

We have yet to receive word on how those affected are responding, but if the victims ever log on to their Twitter accounts before this media craze is over and we move onto the next one, we’re sure they’ll be very appreciative.

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