Public Safety Loses Sole Gun

SELINSGROVE, PA - Public safety officers at Susquehanna University have become worried as the single gun in rotation within the staff has recently gone missing. Several officers claim to have seen the weapon in the weeks prior to its disappearance, but none report having ownership of it recently enough to know its present whereabouts. Officer Jerald “Pops” Rammlet stated that, “It’s hard to believe that it got lost so easily - this is exactly why we have a belt holster for the dang thing.” The belt holster is not reported to be missing. The Department of Public Safety has been visibly shaken by the disappearance of its most prized possession.

“We never really expected to get our hands on one here at the university, so a lot of the guys are really disappointed, especially the boys who didn’t get the opportunity to hold it yet,” said Head of Public Safety Angus Martini. “We just hope that it’s in a safe place and that someone with a kind heart finds it and returns it before something tragic happens.”

The department has stressed that locating the lost firearm is of the utmost importance, and some officers have expressed their concern over possible reactions from the university.

“We’re trying to find it as quickly as possible,” said visibly panicked veteran officer Daryl Milluns. “The university said that if we can’t find this gun, they’ll never let us get another one!”

If you find the missing weapon or have information about its disappearance, please contact Public Safety at (570)-372-4444. The Department of Public Safety has pledged a $20 FlexBuck reward and has noted that the firearm is trained and responds to “Gun.”

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