President Green Seeks Death Penalty for Student Caught Plagiarizing

Tension has been at an all-time high on campus after Junior Morpus Florpus was caught

plagiarizing on his midterm paper last week. To ease the student body and mind, it was just

announced by President Green that he will be seeking the death penalty for the Junior.

In a press conference President Green said: “Honestly I’m shocked that this would

happen. In all my 3 years here I’ve never had something like this happen before,” he would go

onto say. “I plan on prosecuting Morpus to the fullest extent of the law. What he has done is not

only a crime to our campus, but to all universities everywhere.”

President Green ended the conference after receiving a call from The Financial Aid

Office giving him the go ahead to allow him to use tuition money to bribe the judge presiding

over the case.

Speculation about the case has been all the rage all over campus. “I heard Morpus

supposedly submitted a bound book from the library as his midterm,” concerned student Jason

Jayson Jasyn had to say. “I know I’ve done the same once or twice in a few classes I didn’t really

like. This sort of thing could have happened to me, it could have been anyone!”

“I had to visit President Green the other day for a report,” said Ritz Fitz, another

concerned student. “Before I entered his office, I could hear him cackling—fantasizing—about

what he wanted to do with Morpus. I could hear him kicking back his shades saying ‘Justice

lives, and his name is Jon Green. I am the law.’ I mean this is real scary stuff. I wouldn’t want to

be Morpus right now.”

Morpus Florpus’s trial date is set for this Thursday.

The execution date is set for October Twenty-fifth and Morpus will be put down by

President Green behind the shed.