RA Tries to Make Bathroom Idiot Proof

SMITH HALL, PA – The environment of the bathroom on the third floor of Smith Hall could not be more

user friendly. Due to a couple dozen instances of flushing objects that should not be flushed, all

women’s bathrooms are now wallpapered with helpful articles and infographics explaining to users how

to properly not flush plastic down the toilet.

“I just don’t understand how these kids could be so fucking stupid,” commented one distraught RA. “Are

they doing it on purpose? Do they want me to have a psychotic episode? I’ll do it! I’ll lose it on them

all!!!” The RA wailed as she was dragged away by public safety. It is reported that she is recovering from

a bout of hysteria in the counseling center. A replacement RA has already been ordered.

Fortunately for the residents of Smith Hall, serious action is being taken. Not so passive aggressive e-

mails must be sent out to all residents every week to remind them that they will all be charged if the

destruction of property persists and that the building supervisor will personally drag each and every one

of them down to hell if they do not cut this nasty shit out. With this encouraging threat hanging over

their heads, as well as the helpful instructions on how to take a shit without ruining the septic system,

one resident comments that they remain optimistic about the future of the Smith Hall bathrooms. “I just

don’t see how it could get any worse, right? Please tell me it’s not going to get any worse.”