An Open Letter

BY: Malaika Olaoye, representing The Squirrel

We, at the Squirrel, deliver breaking news to you, the students, faculty, and staff, at Susquehanna University. Our staff of esteemed journalists, designers, and writers work around the clock to investigate and find out more about the community and the broader society. Unfortunately, not every publication on campus is dedicated to bringing truth when you need it most. We, The Squirrel, would have liked to keep the conversation between us and this specific disease-ridden, feather-related publication, but they took it too far! We are collectively tired of your bullshit, the quill. You conniving, self-serving son of a bitch!

For those of you who don’t know about the quill (since they’re so obscure), it is a bland tabloid cosplaying as a newspaper on campus. The quill, just a bunch of sluts, has decided to vandalize the classroom we use for meetings. Fuck you. All we did was a stupid little prank. It’s your fault you hid the cocaine in such an obvious place. You were asking for it!