Another Famous SU Student Joins the Kettle

By: Elmo M. Monster

Hi kids, it’s Elmo! As you may have heard, Elmo is no longer working at PBS. SAD!!!! :( 

All Elmo’s friends are having a hard time finding jobs. Elmo guesses 55 years on Sesame Street is NOT enough to get a job at McDonalds. Cookie Monster couldn’t get a job at Crumbl, Oscar couldn’t get a job as a trashman, and Count couldn’t even get a job as a math teacher!! Elmo thought there was a shortage of those… D: Elmo thinks in this economy, in order to earn more money, he should spend a bunch MORE money on a college degree!! That will surely guarantee Elmo a job RIGHT when he graduates.

That’s why Elmo is so excited to say that he has finished his early decision paperwork to join Susquehanna University for the Class of 2030! :D  Elmo is majoring in Philosophy, so that means Elmo will get his PhD and be a doctor right when he graduates!! :D  Elmo thinks he will have lots of job opportunities as a medical doctor. People will be begging to hire Elmo once he graduates, and they will all pay so much money now that he will have such a useful, versatile degree!! 

Elmo has always wanted to go to college to see all the kids he taught all grown up! Elmo thinks they are all wonderful students who do their homework, call their parents, and eat their veggies. Elmo thinks they all eat nutritious, delicious meals at the dining hall, and Elmo is very excited to try all the tasty food!!

Elmo is also so excited to do all the college things! Elmo already has a dorm in Smith Hall, but Elmo thinks he wants to join a frat. Elmo heard the nice boys in TKE give good hugs. Elmo can make so many new friends! Elmo just hopes Rocco doesn’t get a bid. Elmo needs to make other friends because he only knows his roommate, Rocco   >:(((((((  

Oh look, it's President Green! …What’s that?? Oh, that’s wonderful!! Elmo wants to thank all you kids for volunteering to pay more tuition money so Elmo can get a free ride at SU!! Elmo knows 82% is a big number to increase tuition by, so he is very happy that the university made sure everyone wanted this!

Elmo is so excited to meet all of you next year on campus! See you soon! :D!!!!!!!!!!