China Appalled with “The Fascist State of the USA”

By: MATTHEW BAMMAN

Beijing, China – In a joint statement with the Communist Party of China and the National People’s Congress, President Xi Jinping released a statement condemning the appalling fascist state in the United States.

“Frankly, it’s appalling,” said Xi Jinping, “If you wanted help with voter fraud you could always just ask us. We’ve been doing this for almost 70 years now without failure.”

Jinping also commented on the current state of affairs with the migrants being held in cages, particularly about the handling of how the press was all over this.

“I mean if you want to commit genocide [on migrants] take some notes from your past leaders, Trump. At the very least take notes from Andrew Jackson who knew to give the people you want to kill infectious diseases. I mean we invented our own infectious disease to kill the Uyghur Muslims and look at how well that turned out for us. We crashed the global economy!”

In a press conference following the event, Chief Justice Zhou Qiang also remarked a few words about the current US government.

“Your police state is a disgrace,” remarked Zhou Qiang. “I mean at least when we abuse our powers we send tanks, kill civilians, and kidnap bystanders to brain wash them. Now that’s how you run a fascist state. Take notes on what we did with Hong Kong! We get away with this stuff scot-free!”

Donald Trump, who was notified about the statements moments after the announcement was made, was seen pulling out a pen and paper to take notes and murmuring “Oh okay, I see how I could have done better now.” No further comment has been made from the White House or any Staff member.