Diesel Out of Fashion: Suck Diesel Nuts
By: Keith, A Normal-Ass Guy
Listen up people, we need to talk. I’m not one to judge what kind of car you dri- Actually, that is completely inaccurate. If you drive any of the following vehicles, kindly return your license to the DMV and ask to be smacked in the face: a BMW, a Volkswagen, an Acura, a new-ish Rav-4, or a Ford Escape. Y’all are some of the absolute worst drivers I have ever seen. However, you may unclench now because today we have a common enemy.
Diesel truck drivers. Why? Why do you feel the need to have a diesel truck? I’ve literally never seen any of you hauling anything that would warrant you having a diesel truck. Also, can we talk about how disgusting it is that your wheeled-thing sharts all over the road? While I am one to agree with the common truth that farts are funny, it is gross as hell when I am trying to get from point A to point B and suddenly I’m driving through your fucking smog. That shits not good for anyones’ lungs. Does it make you feel like you’re not trying to compensate for your small peen when your truck queefs on others? Do you feel like an ✨alpha male✨?
You guys also suck ass at driving. Without fail, I’ve seen you get passed, start your man-period at that exact moment, and then decide that you have to ride the ass or pass the person who just passed you. I’ll have you know that I am the superior driver in every way, shape, and form, and will not entertain the idea that you should be in front of me. If you ever get around me, have fun getting pulled over dumbass, I’ve got Waze up and you are fucked. You should enjoy your slower-than-me drive while you dream about getting your boy-pussy fucked by a nightmare blunt rotation including, but not limited to; Donald Trump, Alex Jones, Andrew Tate, and Ron DeSantis.
At the end of the day, diesel truck drivers: be better. I want to believe that you can be better. Get a normal truck that you still don’t need. Save some money on gas so you can afford more than a wife beater for a shirt and consider getting a regular t-shirt. Maybe then, and only then, will you stop being a danger to yourself and others on the road and of less detrimental value to society. Buckle up fuckers; seat belts save lives.
