Frat Bros and Hot Moms: A Match Made in Heaven?
BY: AMBER MARTINO
Frat brothers love competition, but one Alpha Sigma Oedipus student broke a few eggshells when claiming his mother was hotter than everyone else’s.
One keg stand was all it took for Chad to open his stupid fucking mouth and go back to his reportedly “old habit” of bragging about his hot mom. Many of his frat brothers were frustrated by this. “Listen, man,” Chad said “I just don’t get it. All the bros have posters on their walls, how is my MILF wall any different from Brad’s vintage pinups?”
Through a collection of photos that spanned all 4 walls of Chad’s room, The Squirrel has been able to confirm that Brad has, in fact, munched on those mommy milkers. A separate photo album of her pictures was placed on a stand made of empty tissue boxes which stood about 8 feet high, barely poking out of a pile of dirty underwear and ignored Title IX violation notices which the university “kinda just never followed up on.”
Some brothers took to protesting with signs and chants outside Chad’s room. “He promised that he’d stop” said Brad, one of the protesters. “She’s a bombshell and he likes making us jealous that he sucked her tits and we didn’t. We just want to be able to enjoy hot moms as a group without him making it all about his mom.”
Other more extreme brothers proposed an end to the frat’s mandatory events where this often occurs. One anonymous brother spoke privately to us. “This happens every single MILF Monday.” He said, “Events where we all get together and look at pictures of older women on a projector should NOT be mandatory.” He represents a very small minority of brothers who feel this way.
“He sure is a special little guy, huh? It’s so sweet of him to support his mommy’s business, and I’m flattered all his cute little friends like my work too!” Chad’s mother said in a zoom interview. When asked what her business entailed, she sent an OnlyFans link in the chat, along with a coupon code for 30% off our first 3 months. Thank you, Shannon, we appreciate it
Possible punishments Chad may receive for multiple counts of “disrupting MILF Monday” are:
Immediate disembowelment for sacrifice to the patron
Public humiliation via stockade
Dish duty for the month
Thad, the fraternity’s president, will be holding a meeting on Friday the 19th where “The council will decide his fate”
