Inflation? I think not

By: Devin Yassilton

After yet another student was hospitalized for malnourishment I’ve decided it is finally time to share my theory of how SU is handling so called “inflation”. I’m sure you all noticed the raise in tuition between last year and this year, unless you’re in the upper 1%. Call me crazy but I think more than inflation caused this tuition raise. Not only has the tuition gone up but the value of our meal plans have gone down!

For those of you who have been living under a rock or are rich enough to order out every meal instead of eating the fiber laced food on campus, I’ll give a quick recap. The majority of the meals in Hawk’s Nest (or Benny’s??) cost more than $8 (the value of a meal swipe). And somehow at Bento a meal swipe is only worth $4. Evert Dining room’s door rates for breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all over $8 yet we are able to use only one meal swipe? Can someone please explain this? Oh, right I can, it’s because Evert has the worst food available on campus. Moral of the story: The food here is shit and we can’t even afford to eat it.

I have a theory that explains all of these costly changes; SU wants to starve out their students! SU wants less students, so they’re doing everything they can to get even more students to drop out. Their first attempt was to raise tuition but when that didn’t work they decided to do was starve us out. It’s hard to say if their plan is working or not but the drop out rate here is 29%. I know at least 3 people who have gotten sick from the food in Evert, this is another attempt by the school to cut down the student population. You might be wondering why on earth would the school want less students? Well I might have that answer, the school simply wants less students to save money. SU’s theory is that with fewer students attending the less money they have to spend on silly things like food, bathroom supplies, dorm upkeep, housekeepers, and RA’s salaries compensation.

You may be expecting some sort of advice at this point in the article but honestly I don’t really have any. My advice would have been to change your meal plan to get more meal swipes in a week, but it's too late for those of you who didn’t see this coming like I did. My only advice now is to starve, go broke, or drop out like SU wants you to.

Good luck! <3