Mars Headquarters- McClean, VA

By: Zach Slusser

In the wake of the news that Mars Inc. would be redesigning the appearance of their beloved M&Ms characters, the candy manufacturer announced today that they would be taking a further step toward cultivating a new image for another of their notable brands - removing the trademark Snickers dick vein.

Mars CEO Grant F. Reid stated that “It was simply time to move on from something as wildly suggestive and provocative as the Snickers vein. We as a company are looking to the future, and we believe that this is the best choice for both our brand and consumers.”

The vein in question has become a hallmark of the Snickers brand in recent years with its viral reputation amongst social media users, and a firestorm is already sweeping the Internet. Twitter user @mnmfeetpics posted: “this is fucking outrageous!! first they come for the green m&m’s heels, now this?? what’s next, are they gonna circumcise the Three Musketeers??” Other Twitter users have organized their anguish for the candy’s phallic imagery under the hashtag #RIPSnickersDick, which has already been used in over 16.5k tweets in the United States during the hour and a half that it has been an active trend as of the writing of this article.

Mars’ media teams have suggested that despite the immediate backlash, there are “currently no plans to reverse this decision” and that the Snickers’ beloved dick vein “will have to endure in the annals of the Internet.”