OFFICIAL STATEMENT CONCERNING MADLIBS

By: THE CEO OF PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE

Hello to all of our valued readers, writers, and thinkers,

It is with great despair that we announce the attention of the current administration, specifically our wonderfully literate president, has turned to us here at Penguin Random House. In their orchestrated sweep of all media, the government has announced a ban on our production of MadLibs. 

According to the official report, written sternly in crayon, the censoring system set in place by the government flagged our content for use of the word “Lib,” a word in connection to liberal ideology. When our legal team attempted to clear up the confusion to the president, he simply declared he was “the best ever at words”* and promptly took five horse tranquilizers. Our legal team was then served an official cease and desist on production of this beloved game. 

As we all know, it is of the utmost importance to the country’s health to control the material children have access to in between school shootings. As such, in order to continue production of MadLibs and serve our reader base, PRH has decided to rebrand this beloved word game to better conform to the president’s vision of media in the US.

Introducing MadRepubs! This visionary new word game has none of the nefarious dogwhistles of liberal ideology, and is available only for pure-blooded Americans!** As PRH begins production of this patriotic new word game, we wanted to provide an overview of our game’s compliance with the current whims of our extremely intelligent president:

1. No more pronouns! This integral piece of language is no longer allowed in schools, and to reflect such we have banned all pronouns from our game. To show our true dedication to this endeavor, copy editors have gone through and crossed out every pronoun used in this memo. 

2. Every time MadRepubs prompts readers to insert a food, piece of clothing, or any other item, readers must choose a brand which donated money to the president’s election! 

3. MadRepubs can be used in classrooms as educational material! Teachers can give students a MadRepubs to fill out for literature, science, and history. School truly will be do it yourself! 

4. A word bank of acceptable words to use for the game, provided by the president in between spray tan appointments, will be listed in the back of each MadRepubs book! 

5. Every MadRepubs will be generated with AI! The specific AI system will fluctuate depending on which tech tycoon the president is currently having a Twitter spat with. 

We here at Penguin Random House are proud to announce the rebrand of our famous word game to MadRepubs, and we hope our valued readers will support this shift towards a healthier, happier, more stable society. 

America’s Truly,

CEO of Penguin Random House

*“I am the best ever at words. No one has ever done words as well as I have. They say I scored the highest on words when they tested me. I know words no one else does. I could probably do any job involving words if I wanted to, that’s how good I am. The highest scores in reading and spelling ever recorded were done by me. Joe Biden cannot say that. Joe Biden does not know half the words that I know and that’s why he lost the election.” 

**Americans are defined as those of European descent who immigrated to the United States of America between the 1600s and 1930s, are Christian, and have no accent. Native Americans, non-English speaking Europeans, immigrants from literally anywhere else, and all non-Christians are excluded from this definition.