Re: Student Ambassador Uniform Changes

From - Khakihater123

To whom it may concern,

Student ambassadors. We know them, we love them. They’ve perfectly achieved the blissful state of ignorance in pretending that nothing has ever been wrong with our beloved Susquehanna. They get up at the crack of dawn on Saturdays to blow up balloons and have small talk. One may consider them crazy, but (bias aside) I think student ambassadors may be some of SU’s strongest soldiers.

The only thing keeping these student employees from the top of the food chain is their incredibly unfortunate uniforms. The bright orange polo I guess I can allow, but the khaki pants is where I draw the line. Those things are torture devices. …Maybe I feel so strongly about this because I’ve never been able to find a pair that fits. If you’ve seen me on an event day sporting the maroon windbreaker, just know it’s because I can’t button my pants due to them being too small.

All this being said, I’d like to propose some new uniform changes keeping with the spirit of this edition’s theme. I’ve crafted them in listicle format for easier viewing:

• Maxi Skirts - Boys too! The length of the skirt keeps the professionalism, and you don’t have to worry about finding a good belt.

• Benny Suit - Only the bottom half. Orange Converse included.

• Jumpsuits - Keeping the orange theme here. Since the school feeds us prison food, I feel like these are on brand!

• Failure Shorts - The Squirrel should be represented more on campus, so I’m bringing these back from a previous social media post (and then we sold them!). Gives students a taste of what SU is really all about.

• Jorts - Listen. Anything is more comfortable than khakis. I don’t care if they’re not “cool.”

• Sashes - I also think we should get fun pins for milestones! For example: Completing a tour without any mistakes and Not shitting your pants after eating at Deg!
  

  • Additionally, for event days, I think Benny should get a larger wardrobe. Please consider giving him a cowboy outfit to get into the true Pennsyltucky spirit (ie. fringe jacket, assless chaps, wide brimmed hat).

Please take these humble suggestions into consideration. I hope to hear feedback at your earliest convenience.

Thanks!

Khakihater123