SU Presents Ride the Squirrelclone

SU’s theatre department has already presented the second musical of the year. It’s a wonder, seeing that the scripts were 600 pages long, and there were only two weeks of rehearsal, but here you have it: Ride the Squirrelclone is here! On a more serious note, the show is a tribute to SU’s less popular acapella group, Harmonic Consumption, who all tragically perished last year on the spring fair’s rickety ferris wheel. The plot of the musical begins with the members of HarmCon plummeting from the creaky carnival ride of death and into an odd state of limbo.

Due to the high number of families buying tickets, the show had to be heavily censored. This was to prevent what has become known as “the Equus issue.” Notable censored lyrics include “I want to be that freaked up squirrel,” “the pretty spoon that I stuck ten times in his back,” and “we need your squirreltastic nut.” A very poignant verse about a “coquette with a heart of brown acorns” moved many hearts with its lyrical complexity: “So now I sell my love for Skittles/In some rat-infested, non-alcoholic dive/At night I decline smoking cigarettes/So I can be responsible and thrive.”

To further SU pride, other liberties were taken, such as representing the sexy cat women from Zolar as a host of mascots in Benny costumes. They shimmied with unmatched spirit, shaking their tail feathers majestically like a crowd of peacocks while they geared up to fight Count Dogulous, “that son of a dog!” Not only that, but Noel Gruber was played by one of our very own River Queens when acting as his alter ego, Monique Gibeau. (After hearing that this is the Cirque de Squirrel edition, Noel would like you to know that his favorite film, The Blue Angel, also contains clowns.) Finally, the theatre is keeping up its streak of doomed yaoi with a heartwarming kiss between Noel Gruber and Mischa Bachinski, right before they ascend to the mysterious afterlife at the show’s finale.

Stay tuned for the next play, Yeeted Rivalry, where instead of hockey players, the leads are throwers for the competing SU and Bucknell football teams.