Subject: Squirrel Meeting Minutes 4/12

From: martino@susqu.edu

To: The Squirrel All-Members

yo,

We talked a lot today about works that have already been looked at repeatedly. Those have been officially cleared.

Review of today’s critiques:

• Squirrel ate my Homework: WE ARE NOT SATIRE IT IS EXPLICITLY AGAINST THE SQUIRREL STYLE GUIDE TO REFER TO THE ONLY LEGITIMATE NEWS SOURCE ON THIS CAMPUS AS SATIRE the quill IS THE ONLY SATIRE PUBLICATION ON CAMPUS

Next week’s critiques will be: Me, Liv, Julie, Kenzie, Ashlea

Does anyone read these? Besides The Supreme Leader, I mean. Oh well. Thanks to anyone who does. I hope your day is going well.

Maybe I’ll write a short piece about a mentally unstable club secretary crying out for help in meeting minutes that nobody reads. It’s like journaling to them, but with a tacit, bittersweet implication that while nobody in real life listens to their problems, meeting minutes get sent to everyone. She hopes desperately not for help, but to be heard in a world of existentially terrifying magnitude.

I could imagine that being cathartic for someone very, very lonely. Might not be a smash-hit comedy, but probably relatable to a lot of people. Especially since a huge amount of new S.U. students aren’t involved in anything on campus outside their classes.

Not that any of this is related to me, of course. I actually kind of have a support system largely through the organizations I’m in at college so I’m ok.

Well, after that idk how to end this email. There’s a funny series analyzing Diary of a Wimpy Kid characters on YouTube by this guy called “LateNightPies”, so check that out I guess?

Xoxo,

Gossip Girl