Trends That I’m Glad Died

Let’s be real. I am a hater. If I have the opportunity to deploy my hatred onto something, I will gladly take it and you, my friend, are forced to listen. So – sit down while I take you through a handful of trends that I am glad are dead.

Skinny jeans: This era of skinny jean wearing was something that overtook us all. In my middle school and high school days wearing skinny jeans was a social status. This (like everything in my middle and high school days) caused social trauma that I am still working through today. All my friends wore skinny jeans like everyday and little ol’ me over here had one fucking pair and, well, you know where that put me and I will say no more on that topic. 

The mannequin challenge: This was another thing that took over my middle school days. Why was this cool again? Where did it even come from?? Everytime I hear that song I still feel like I need to freeze. I think it’s a trauma response. 

The cinnamon challenge: This was ANOTHER what the fuck moment of everyones childhood. Love Glozell and her lovely green lipstick, but GIRL. Glozell almost killed herself by doing this challenge!!! I can still see her hacking up cinnamon in my mind. I looked it up and a FOUR year old kid died from this challenge. RIP Matthew. Let’s take this as a reminder to stop doing stupid shit for the sake of the internet. 

Omegle: Okay, actually, what the fuck even was this. I was exposed to Omegle from too young of an age and I think that I am still dealing with the trauma from everything I saw on that site. Like I can still see images and it seriously keeps me awake at night. But, I did hear some great news that Omegle has shut down. Finally, one thing that could save our youth (good luck guys). The old Omegle can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Cause she’s dead! 

Side parts: I was a victim. 

Team 10: Yo, it's Tessa Brooks the competition shook. These guys up on me I got 'em with the hook. Lemme educate ya' And I ain't talking book Panera is your home? So, stop calling my phone. I'm flyin' like a drone. They buying like a loan. Yeah, I smell good. Is that your boy's cologne?

To end this out, I think that it is safe to say that our childhoods are full of weird fucked up trends that might (are) still continuing to traumatize us. Unfortunately, even with the happiness that comes with the death of these trends we now have so many more unfortunate trends that will haunt us in years to come. Can’t wait to make my comeback in ten years when I hate on the horrible look of micro bangs and those obnoxious fucking stanley cups.