TS11 Tracks EXPLAINED!!!!
By: Me!
Fortnight (feat. Post Malone): Failed Minecraft YouTuber Austin Post joins Swift on this synth-pop power-ballad depicting her woes with a partner committed to the wrong kind of doubles. Rest assured, he won’t be default dancing to this one.
The Tortured Poets Department: O Captain! My Captain! You may have gotten this track, the album’s namesake, mixed up with the classic film Dead Poets Society. Mistake, right? No. It was all leading up to this song about Neil Perry— it’s sad!
My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys: This one goes out to girls who’ve had a boyfriend punch a hole in the wall. Wtf is up with that??
Down Bad: Horny?
So Long, London: You want me to say this song is about a certain average Joe, huh? Well guess what, it’s not. It’s a pop-cuntry feminist jam about the long life of Queen Elizabeth II. God save the Queen!
But Daddy I Love Him: The title of this track is a direct quote from Taylor before adopting Benjamin Button. The daddy in question? Herself, duh. She’s The Man. Living for this meta-addition to the TSCU.
Fresh Out the Slammer: You know how Swifties are always saying “she did this for me?” That’s EXACTLY what renowned Swiftie Bypsy Gose Ranchard is saying rn.
Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine): The recent Republican declaration of war against Taylor is what inspired her to make this seven minute Ron DeSantis diss track. She raps about his policies AND the lifts in his shoes while Florence does some sick ass background oooohh’s.
Guilty as Sin?: Is Taylor Swift Guilty as Sin? She contributes a lot of harm to the environment with carbon emissions from her private jet. But she purchases “carbon credits” to offset this. That’s what she’s supposed to do, isn’t it? Should we be more angry about a system that writes off environmental damage? A thirty minute flight is laughable, but there are other famous people who do it too. Is labeling Taylor the poster-child for obliterating the ozone misogynistic? It’s important to critique celebrities, especially those who are as wealthy and privileged as Taylor. But aren’t there more important things for us to talk about right now? Shouldn’t Taylor be using her platform to talk about them as well? btw Taylor described this song as punk, so argue about that too while you’re at it.
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: This song is written from the Big Bad Wolf’s pov! It’s a dark, sultry jazz number Taylor huffed and puffed to make the beat for. Jack Antonoff is a visionary.
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): This track reflects on Taylor considering dating the rat from flushed away before she wisely chose not to.
Loml: Loml doesn’t actually stand for “love of my life”. It’s “looking over my list”. Yeah, that’s right. Taylor is Santa. How didn’t we see this sooner??? Red is literally a Christmas color.
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: Nooooo babe, don’t get heartburn, you’re too sexy.
The Smallest Man That Ever Lived: This one is about Stuart Little!
The Alchemy: This song is promotion for Taylor’s new line of Essential Oils! This new side hustle is Taylor’s way of giving back to her biggest supporters. Be your own boss, make your own hours, and connect with fellow Swifties! Top seller gets a trip to Bermuda on Taylor’s Jet.
16. Clara Bow: This is actually a misspelling of the Clarabelle, from Mickey Mouse. You know, the one who’s got the hots for Goofy (valid). Clara Bow didn’t have anything to do with Clarabelle Cow! At least bows are in right now.
