Weekly Weather Forecast

JOE: And now, we’re gonna head to Susan with a look at this week’s weather forecast, take it away Susan.

SUSAN: Well Joe, today’s looking pretty sunny. Things were a little cool this morning, but it’s definitely warming up now! We’ve got a high of 74, but you can still expect some clouds. Excellent day for a picnic, don’t you think Joe?

JOE: That sounds great, Sue! I might have to take my kids to the park after school today.

SUSAN: Now looking ahead in the week, we’re warming up a little bit. Friday has a low of 199 degrees and high temperatures are reaching the early 240s. Don’t forget that sunscreen Joe, we all remember how badly you got burnt last year!

JOE: Hmph.

SUSAN: Saturday we are seeing some record highs for this time of year! It’s going to be crucial that you stay inside. Do not go outside. I repeat, do not go outside, not even for food, Joe. Prepare now. Stock up on essentials, hold your family close, and have a plan to get as far underground as possible. Caves with fresh water, basements, and bunkers are gonna be ideal. If you have an ice chamber, now’s the time to use it, that’s gonna be a life saver in this heat! It has never been this hot before, and it may never be this hot again.

*pause*

SUSAN: As you can see, on Sunday things will start to cool down again, temperatures are gonna be closer to what we saw on Friday, but it’s still gonna be a hot one. Drink lots of water and make sure you’re not spending too much time outside!

JOE: I’ve got some Ben and Jerry’s in the fridge saved up.

SUSAN: *laughs* What’s your flavor of choice, Joe?

JOE: It’s gotta be half-baked! No question.

SUSAN: Too true, Joe. Now, things will cool way down on Monday thanks to some record-breaking winds— really hurricane level. On Tuesday, you should expect some scattered showers throughout the day. Get out your rain coats and your umbrellas and thank me later.

JOE: Now, I’m seeing a big black question mark on the screen there.

What’s going on with Wednesday, Sue?

SUSAN: We don’t know.

*silence*

SUSAN: We’ll get through it Joe, and we’ve got Thursday to look forward to. We have to look forward to Thursday. It’s going to be beautiful Joe. It has to be.

JOE: Thank you Sue, I am looking forward to Thursday! That’s all the

weather we have for you today. Now, we turn to James with our traffic update, what’s the latest James?

JAMES: Well Joe, everyone has crashed. It's not looking good