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5 Times Benny the Riverhawk has screwed us over

By: Tummy Full of Paint; Body Covered in Water.


I’ve been attending this school, and showering in these dorms for at least 4 years now, and as a proud riverhawk I need to say… Benny is a POS sometimes, and I will not stand for this. Friends, I present to you: 5 times Benny has screwed us over.


  1. After receiving many complaints about the foud in Deg being discusting, Benny has decided to tackle this by repainting the dining hall. To be fair, if you sprimkle the chipped off paint, it gives the food a splendid taste! Benny is quite the chef for implying this idea.


  1. On the topic of food: despite tutitshin increasing, the proportin of drinks you get in lower Deg have gotten smallwr. You used to be able to get a full bottle of soda or a full bottle of jooce with your meat. Now you can only get a can of soda or a carton of juice. The prices, however, are still the same… Sometimes, you can even taste Benny in the orangejuice… 


  1. Anyone gonna commem about what happy to the hangin lites in deb? They just kinda right one day. If they’re trying to make zappy budget cutes or whatever, then what am I paying almost $50,000 a semihamster for, huh? OH RIGHT! THE FCKING PAINT JOB AT DEG! ….The paint’s made out of what now?


  1. As an extrovent and wannabe partygoer, why were we not allowed to have a party on 18th St the weekend before classs started? Are we just not allowed to have fun unless Benny schdules it? What an attenshin seeking whore. Speaking of whore, Benny, why are you in the shower with me?


  1. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh led is in pain n it tatseettyy. Kiss me Benny you horn-dog.



In conclusion, the only good thing cumin out of this mess is the tastee yummee led paint that I covered myself hed to toh in becuse Benny told me to. I’m uuuhpstet becuz my momnee pays for wuter bill. I am on day 3 of my week long shower. It getting wet in hurrrrrr.


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