5 Tips for Beginner Clowns

So, you want to get into clowning but don’t want to look like, well, a clown? Luckily, this is your one stop shop for becoming a class act!

1. Decide your type of clown.

Clowning has a lot of history and in order to be passionate about what you do you have to be passionate about how you look; the type of clown you choose will dictate visual aspects of your clowning. The three options include: Whiteface, Auguste, and The Tramp.

Whiteface is as it sounds. A completely white face from the neck up, the classic clown caricature who will tee up jokes for the Auguste and The Tramp to knock down. Whiteface’s also make for great fast food chain mascots, see Ronald McDonald.

Auguste clowns are where the big red noses come in, so if you have always been rather fond of Rudolf, this is the way to go. They only have patches of white around the eyes and mouth to exaggerate the features but everything else is fleshtone.

The Tramp is a clown with very minimal white, simply on the eyelids and lips, and is a solemn clown. The Tramp is the butt of every joke and appearance is generally very ragged.

2. Decide Where You Will Clown

Clowning is a highly specialized profession so it is important to choose your path wisely. It is important to know your audience as a clown because without that, the whole clowning institution could crumble in fear. Birthday party clowns, rodeo clowns, scary clowns, sad clowns, and even sexy clowns, the world is your oyster, but having a brand that is consistent matters. In terms of fashion this is important for practicality. Do you think large ruffle collars and shoes too big are suitable for a rodeo clown!? No. That’s how people get hurt. Or pants that are too baggy at a children’s party!? And risk getting pantsed? No thank you.

3. The Ultimate Sizing Guide 

Clowns are known for exaggerated proportions, but how far is too far? Shoes should be at least three sizes larger than your usual shoe size but no larger than six sizes too big; that becomes a tripping hazard. Hats are the only time my advice will be to go smaller, having too large of a hat makes you top heavy and while everyone loves a heavy top, in this case it makes you fall over. Ruffle collars are optional additions to your attire and need to be a specific size, they must reach at least the ends of your shoulders but if they go any farther than that they must have some flop, without flaccidity your risk decapitating your peers and I strongly oppose clown on clown violence, our numbers are scarce enough as it is.  

4. Must Have Props

All good clowns should be equipped with these props, and a good clown will have them concealed from the naked eye: water-squirting flower lapel pin, neverending handkerchief, rubber chicken, banana peel, kazoo (proficiency optional), balloons for balloon animals (proficiency NOT optional), a mink, holy water, and a key lime pie. 

5. Be funny. (crucial to your success)

Unfortunately, in the modern climate humor is an essential part of being a clown. No matter your discipline, clowns get a bad reputation when jokes get lost. This is an especially tight line to walk as a scary clown or sad clown, but as I said, numbers are scarce enough as it is without increasing persecution rates due to bad one liners, or non-humorous monologues, honestly, it’s best to steer clear of monologues all together.