FOR HIRE - Susquehanna Valley’s New Up and Coming DJ

Are you hosting a party, gathering, or event of some sort? Do you want someone else to pick all of the music? Do you want someone to wear headphones in the corner and nod the whole time? Allow me to introduce you to DJ $Q-$Q-$Q-QUIRREL MONAYYY, the newest of Central Pennsylvania’s four DJs! 

DJ $Q-$Q-$Q-QUIRREL MONAYYY lived on 2010s party music growing up. They knew from a very young age that they wanted to stand in a room with more people than physically possible half dancing to music. They’ve been longing for a chance like this for ages, to get to stand before an adoring crowd and share songs they love. Now, they’ve decided it’s time to break into the scene. Who are you to deny them this joy? They should get to DJ something, as a treat. Everything is on fire, they need this. 

FAQs

Do you have any experience?: No, but what I lack in experience I make up for in enthusiasm. I’ve spent a lot of time listening to club music and mashups and while I may not be the biggest party person, your girl can curate a playlist.

Do you have equipment?: No.

Why not join the radio?: It’s not the same. Also, I tried. I filled out an application and they never got back to me :(

What’s your usual price?: Nothing. I’ll do it for free. I need the exposure if I’m gonna break into the industry and make it big. If you feel payment is needed, I will gladly accept one can of Dr. Pepper.

Availability: Too much. I am very bored.

Endorsements: 

“DJ $Q-$Q-$Q-QUIRREL MONAYYY came to my party and completely elevated the vibe. They didn’t say anything to anyone the whole time, other than to occasionally ask people if they were “having a good time tonight?!” Somehow, they knew exactly what the crowd needed to hear. It was kinda scary how accurate she was. 4 Stars.” 

- Mark R.

“They played good music in my car one time.”

- Emma P.

“They’ve had this talent from a young age. I’ve always believed in them.”

- Grandma Acorn

“Don’t encourage them. They need to work on their job applications.”

- Papa Squirrel

If you’re interested in having DJ $Q-$Q-$Q-QUIRREL MONAYYY at your party, event, or social gathering, you should contact t0t4llyn0rmal3mail@gmail.com, and coordinate a time for them to come with a playlist, an oversized squirrel mask, and a dream.