Give Us Your Money!!!!

One thing about college kids is they’re going to miss their moms. This sadness can manifest itself in a variety of unique ways. Some will turn to racking up their family’s phone bills. Others will turn to admiration. That’s where we come in. Alpha Sigma Oedipus is a philanthropic society that strives to connect young men with the females of the future. That’s right, we love milfs mothers as much as you do.

With recruitment at Susquehanna coming up after the break, we hope to pique your interest (more than the other frats because we’re so obviously better) and invite you into our brotherhood. Consider joining us and listen to all the epic shit we have to offer.

Level One - Alpha

What’s unique about ASO is that you get to pick your own pledge class! You can join Level Alpha for as low as $20. Find five people to share the love with and we’ll let you sit in on one of our general council meetings. As part of the new member process, Alphas will get paired with a mom in need. Our philanthropy is single moms. You are the perfect match for our beautiful and hardworking moms who might be lonely and need a companion. Alphas will get showered with support from our moms, it’s in their motherly instincts of course! However, if you want to meet your mom, you must be a Level Two.

Level Two - Sigma

Level Sigmas are allowed to connect with their moms in person. These meetings are sacred and secret to protect the highest values of our fraternity. At every social event you must bring a gift for your mom’s children. In return, she’ll offer you some special gifts. What are these special gifts, you ask? You’ll simply have to see for yourself. If each member of your pledge class brings in one new member for the next pledge class (we initiate once per month, going along with the lunar cycle), all of you get upgraded to the Sigma level free of cost.

Level Three - Oedipus

If you’re interested in achieving the highest level of ASO, if you want to be a supreme member of our organization, all you need to do is genuinely tell your  mother (like your real mom) that you love her. Your fraternity mom figure will offer you all of her love and devotion once she knows that you feel true respect for her. It is at this point that you will officially opt in to our payment program. And a secret third thing! More on that in our rituals. Being a Level Oedipus member allows you to finally understand our drive for caring about moms. Pull back the curtain of mystique by inviting 20 friends along to a weekly chapter meeting, and buying each one of them a gift. 

All in all, we beg you to take our humble organization into consideration when you’re looking for your brotherly home for the next four years. The moms need us more than ever to give them the admiration they deserve.