top of page

The General Sack Association (GSA) Constitution:



BY: LILY DURA

President Sack

Vice President Schlong King Kong

Treasurer Glizzy Gobbler

Our club will be called the General Sack Association, but we will also be known as the Sack Groupie Alliance by our members because each and every official member is an honorary groupie to President Sack.

Hacky sack is a sport that dates back to the most ancient of times, and blessed the west during the 70’s. It is an intricate game that involves using one's feet to keep a footbag up in the air with a group of players. Hacky sack is a dying art that can only be mastered by the most shaggin’ pimps, preferably the ones who drag on about Zen Buddhism and wear ankle socks. It is common knowledge to anyone with a BIG BRAIN that without a hacky sack club this campus is doomed to be anything but bitchin, and it is only the addition of the GSA that will save Susquehanna from the grimy grasps of ultimate frisbee team. Their flimsy disks have nothing on our rock hard sacks.

Our club's anthem is “Little Girls” by Oingo Boingo, and we will initiate each game with the song's beginning lines: “I love little girls.” When the president speaks the words girls, the Schlong King Kong will toss the sacred sack to her right where the Glizzy Gobbler will smack the sack into action precisely with her left foot to President Sack.

If this process is not done properly each member must lay on their backs, creating an epic circle, as President Sack solos in the middle for the rest of practice as punishment by the sack gods. The GSA lives and breathes Susquehanna University’s values and without it order will be destroyed. Hacky sack must be revived by the GSA before the frisbee team takes a massive dump all over smith lawn and makes this sacred campus a total bummer. There may already be a GSA and an SGA, but together we will be the most bitchin quadruple. And besides, anything is better than a UTI (Ultimate Frisbee Institution).


Related Posts

See All

Have something to say?

Come write for us! 

Contact thesusquirrel@gmail.com for more information

Want to Draw Squirrels? And other stuff... occasionally.

Contact thesusquirrel@gmail.com for more information

squirrel.png
bottom of page