THE SQUIRREL

BY: LILY DURA President Sack Vice President Schlong King Kong Treasurer Glizzy Gobbler Our club will be called the General Sack...

Frat brothers love competition, but one Alpha Sigma Oedipus student broke a few eggshells when claiming his mother was hotter than everyone else’s.

BY: MALAIKA OLAOYE It’s that time of year again. Time to put away the seasonal depression that can only be quelled by caffeine and...

BY: MALAIKA OLAOYE There was something so majestic about watching fights on campus, like when Squirrel (they/ them) and Tortoise (they/...

Though the humans of SU may be blind to the tragedies happening under their very noses on this campus, us Squirrels are not.

Answered By: Sophia Congdon Billy asks: How do I become the ‘big man’ on campus? Well Billy, buying stilts might be a good place to...

By: Sophia Congdon (Aries sun, Pisces moon, Capricorn rising) Wondering what finals week has in store for you? The stars have all the...