The Incident at Walkerville

*sigh* My name is [REDACTED], and I am a victim. a victim of an evil perpetrator who haunted my dreams when I was a kid. Normal kids were scared of the dark or the monster under the bed, but not me…I was scared of my former science teacher at Walkerville Elementary School. My family and I had to sign an NDA after what happened to me, so I legally cannot give out any names, but this teacher gave me emotional scars that I am still healing from. One should not be fooled by her crazy hair, funky outfits, and her adorable pet lizard; she is malicious. Here’s my story.

*Netflix intro sound*

It all started on my first day of school. I was always a nervous kid, so I brought my cousin Janet with me. It seemed so simple; we were going on a field trip to the planetarium. When we realized the planetarium was closed, I nervously made a joke about having to go to actual space to learn about the planets…That was my first mistake. My teacher hauled us into the bus, strapped us into our seats…and we blasted off at 17,500 miles per hour into space. Our parents didn’t even sign a waiver! The rest of the trip was a haze to me, but the last thing I could remember was my helmet being pulled off and I blacked out. When I woke up, I was once again on Earth,somehow in my bed, completely fine, only with a minor cold. News was my cousin was never seen again after that day. sniffling Even though Janet was deemed missing, my teacher was never fired. Those sickos at Walkerville let this devil of a teacher teach at the school for years to come. It’s hard for me to remember a lot from when I was a child, but I will try my best.

I remember one day, my buddy Ralph wasn’t feeling too good. We really needed him that day for a group project, so it was unfortunate. I made the mistake of telling my teacher about this issue once more. Instead of continuing with our project, she exclaimed “C’mon kids…It’s time for a FIELD TRIP!” Then, as usual, she forced us into her magical bus and strapped us to our seats. Then, by some ungodly rule-bending physics, we shrunk to the size of a mere microbe (once again, no waiver), and travelled to Ralph’s home. Then, while little Ralphie was sleeping with his mouth wide open, we entered his body. Without consent, mind you. My teacher then went on to talking about the human body and the immune system, like the whole bus of children weren’t traumatized by entering our fellow peer’s body without their consent. 

To put it frankly, I knew I should have stayed home that day.

[Credits roll]