We Need to do Something About the Ferris Wheel

We’ve all heard the stories about the famous TRAX Ferris wheel which we keep on campus, but do you know the TRUTH about it? If you don’t, you don’t have to worry, I’m here to tell you. It may sound unbelievable, but the Ferris wheel, yes, our very own Ferris wheel, is haunted. 

If you don’t already know, our great Ferris wheel has a fascinating history. The first Ferris wheel made its debut in 1893, and our own made its own only a few decades later, in 1929. This Ferris wheel was cursed from the start, barely making any money due to the Great Depression and had to be shut down for the next three decades. It was then reopened in 1961 by an enterprising group of squirrel-clowns, who were able to make a great deal of money by charging exorbitant prices and also by sometimes pickpocketing the passengers. 

The Ferris wheel was also featured at the circus which became the site of the Great Clown Massacre. This took place in 1972. The great clown massacre had 22 killer clowns at once, and resulted in over 300 patron deaths. Fortunately, all the squirrel clowns were spared due to their status as clowns and because the killer clowns were unable to climb trees while wearing their comically small clown shoes. This massacre is the start of the haunting of our Ferris wheel. 

One killer clown, while trying to kill Ferris wheel passengers by knocking over the Ferris wheel, ended up being flattened by a passenger car that fell off. It is said that the sound was reminiscent of a very loud clown nose squeak. This compartment was replaced; however, something has remained OFF about it. There have been several incidents that suggest our flattened killer clown’s spirit may have stuck around, seeking revenge on the riders of the Ferris wheel who he was flattened by. 

These incidents include black smoke coming out from the compartment, strange noises in the middle of the night, blood coming out of the walls in disturbingly accurate squirrel patterns, passengers personal belongings moving on their own and also mysteriously vanishing, flattened clown noses randomly appearing, and The Incident last year involving several students dying.

If you suspect a haunting I, a completely legitimate exorcist, can get rid of any ghost for the low price of $10,000. This includes the haunting of the Ferris wheel.