THE SQUIRREL

Listen up penis havers. I’m tired. Every fucking time I go out, some guy (nongendered) really wants to shove their dick in my face claiming its the biggest shlong I’ll ever see. And you know what, I’m a curious type, so I let them at least give me a little show and tell. Not to touch, nonono absolutely not, just to look at. So we go to their musky ass frat room. They unzip and unsheath a richard so small most people would end up calling it ricky. And then I walk away. So I’ve

I would like to begin this ranking by acknowledging that...

Are you tired of your boring 9-5 job in this mundane world? Do you wish that you would randomly get a letter from your now deceased grandfather asking you to leave the city for a more quiet… no wait, that’s Stardew Valley (oops). My tiny, sad, pathetic cubicle is draining the life and soul out of me and I need to get away from the life that is corporate hell. Sometimes reading fanfiction secretly on my phone doesn’t cut it, I need to physically be in these places. My girl Eb