THE SQUIRREL

[This article was discovered after it was slipped under the door of The Squirrel headquarters by a group of squirrels, who stole it from a crying music student outside of CCMA. Viewer discretion is advised.] Hello, my name is [CENSORED], and I have been playing the clarinet for almost a decade. Almost a decade too long, if you ask me. Here is my confession.  To start, whoever invented the clarinet must have been in association with SATAN. Who the fuck thought “Hey, what if

Hi my name is [MyChemicalPiercetheBlackVeilSirens] and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) The holy emo trinity. The one thing all angsty middle schoolers could agree on to worship and people are yet again making this a new trend. W

Call me a swiftie the way I’m stanning this white woman! The only two albums that deserve to be up here are folklore and reputation. reputation came out right when I was maturing in my music taste away from artists like Swift and it almost made me come back. That’s how decent it was. folklore has a similar story, but it’s slightly more impressive because it’s not even close to my preferred genres of music. Got some bangerz! Here lies The Tortured Poets Department, Red, and ev