Anthony Wojciechowsky
Susquehanna Mall Cops Can't Handle Weed; Get Guns
“We’d only use them on people of color, and there aren’t even that many here to begin with.” In an unprecedented move, Susquehanna...
Zach Slusser
University President Sees Shadow: Six Weeks of Finals to Come
SELINSGROVE, PA - These past few weeks marked the passing of everyone’s favorite pseudo-holiday: Jon Green Day. Once again, the beloved...
Dan Sellers
SU Fraternity Holds Charity Anti-Hazing Kegger
Members of Susquehanna University’s Kappa Epsilon Gamma chapter held an 18th Street charity kegger on Friday, Feb. 1 to raise money in...
Danielle Bettendorf
Susquehanna Presidential Scandal Revealed
After University President L. Jay Lemons announced Monday that he will leave Susquehanna in 2017, sources revealed that the departure was...
Eric Krinick
An Op Ed. on the Fake ID Crisis
American media has once again blown something as stupid as a few drunk kids trying to get booze out of proportion. Here are the facts and...
Eric Krinick
Angsty Teenager Compares Life to Struggles in Syria
At Wharton High School in Millsborough, IN, 14 year old Alex Dunn announced today via text message to his best friend of nine weeks Dave...
Caroline Miller
College Student Psyching Herself Up for ‘Really Awesome’ Nap Tomorrow
In an exclusive interview with The Squirrel, Susquehanna University sophomore Maggie O’Donnell reported that she’s spent the last several...
Mitchell Roshannon and Jenna Danyew
Outsmart Your Professor: Don’t Write the Paper
Your professor told you exactly when your final exam is due. You were handed a syllabus outlining exactly what was expected of you. You...
The Squirrel
Professor Forgets Password, Advisees Plunged Into Chaos
The end of the registration period found dozens of university students in panic because they had not yet received lifts on their...
Jillian Mannarino
A Feminist Proposal
2 Beers—$7, 3 Margaritas—$15, 4 Jell-O Shots—$20, Taking home the girl who drank all of the above…PRICELESS. These words, printed on...
