Professor Forgets Password, Advisees Plunged Into Chaos
The end of the registration period found dozens of university students in panic because they had not yet received lifts on their...
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THE SQUIRREL
Susquehanna University's satirical news source
Jillian Mannarino
A Feminist Proposal
2 Beers—$7, 3 Margaritas—$15, 4 Jell-O Shots—$20, Taking home the girl who drank all of the above…PRICELESS. These words, printed on...
Ashleigh Tomcics
Caramel Cornhusk Set to Outshine Current Pumpkin Spice Craze
In light of the popularity of the Pumpkin Spice-flavored drinks, Starbucks has recently announced the upcoming release of a full line of...
Matt Stulberg
Susquehanna University Considers New Mascot
Amidst much recent criticism and debate over the political correctness of the university's mascot, The Crusader, Susquehanna...
Sam Thompson
Squirrels Embraced by University: Minimal Injuries Reported
To celebrate change, the administration has happily announced the new and improved Dog Days at Susquehanna, now with smaller, furrier,...
Longo
Student Comes Out as Ally, Campus Rejoices
October 11th was National Coming Out Day, a day for LGBTQ people across the globe to celebrate their identities and disclose them to...
Joseph Maltese
College Stoners Discuss World Problems, Solve Them
With many Americans hysterical over ISIS, Ebola, school and government shootings as well as lingering tension from Middle Eastern...
Blake Miller // Art by Alan Codner
Kraft Company Expected to Release New Types of Macaroni
Receiving complaints from all over the country about fires and smoke alarms, the Kraft Company announced on Monday that they are making...
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