

RA Tries to Make Bathroom Idiot Proof
SMITH HALL, PA – The environment of the bathroom on the third floor of Smith Hall could not be more user friendly. Due to a couple dozen...
Sophia Congdon
President Green Seeks Death Penalty for Student Caught Plagiarizing
Tension has been at an all-time high on campus after Junior Morpus Florpus was caught plagiarizing on his midterm paper last week. To...
Matthew Bamman The Fifteenth


President Green Declares if You Rape Somebody “Your Mom Gay”
SELINSGROVE, PA - After receiving numerous complaints from the student body about the school’s lack of direct action in investigating...
Adam Unger


SU Finally Finds New Token Black Guy After... Well... You Know...
You may notice something different about the university-sponsored advertising around campus. That’s right, that splash of color isn’t...
Anthony Wojciechowsky


From the SU President’s Office: Misconceptions on Campus
When you’re seen as a “minority” on a small campus, it can feel like you’re being pigeonholed into one category by everyone around you....
Danielle Bettendorf


Susquehanna University Emergency PSA: Campus-Wide Warning to All Female Students
After a massive campus-wide scavenger hunt to find the 2018 Clery Report for Susquehanna University, crucial data has been brought to...
Anastasia Farley


SU Introduces New Rapist-Victim Counseling Sessions
Susquehanna has recently announced a new program in which victims and assailants in Title IX cases will receive joint sessions at the...
Danielle Bettendorf


The Woke-ender
TRAX Friday, 5/31: The Committee of Student Activities’ annual I Wanna Get Lucky party is back! Get ready to put the “college” in...
Dan Sellers and Anastasia Farley


How To Avoid Being Charged With Sexual Assault In The Politically-Charged- #MeToo-Movement-Political
As a college senior, it has taken me almost four years to realize how much of an issue we have, as one of the hundreds of Liberal Arts...
Madison Niness


SU to Exclusively Hire Rapists As Tour Guides
Admins Attempt Rare Active Response to Student Concerns As part of a university-wide initiative in response to student’s critiques of the...
Anthony Wojciechowsky














