WARNING: They’re hydrated, BPA free, scrunchied out, and tired of your plastic-using bullshit.
SU Students: As “hot girl summer” transitions into spooky season, we advise all students to be careful and take safety precautions when...
Julie Heaney
PLS Behave
After the first week of classes, as well as a very useful weekend of basic socialization for the freshmen, a speech was given by Dr....
Isabel Camaratta
Poltergeists Pacify after Party at TRAX
I was granted special invitation to Rave from the Grave’s Halloween Party this year. It is an infamous club on campus, well known for...
Malaika Olaoye
RA Tries to Make Bathroom Idiot Proof
SMITH HALL, PA – The environment of the bathroom on the third floor of Smith Hall could not be more user friendly. Due to a couple dozen...
Sophia Congdon
President Green Seeks Death Penalty for Student Caught Plagiarizing
Tension has been at an all-time high on campus after Junior Morpus Florpus was caught plagiarizing on his midterm paper last week. To...
Matthew Bamman The Fifteenth
President Green Declares if You Rape Somebody “Your Mom Gay”
SELINSGROVE, PA - After receiving numerous complaints from the student body about the school’s lack of direct action in investigating...
Adam Unger
SU Finally Finds New Token Black Guy After... Well... You Know...
You may notice something different about the university-sponsored advertising around campus. That’s right, that splash of color isn’t...
Anthony Wojciechowsky
From the SU President’s Office: Misconceptions on Campus
When you’re seen as a “minority” on a small campus, it can feel like you’re being pigeonholed into one category by everyone around you....
Danielle Bettendorf
Susquehanna University Emergency PSA: Campus-Wide Warning to All Female Students
After a massive campus-wide scavenger hunt to find the 2018 Clery Report for Susquehanna University, crucial data has been brought to...
Anastasia Farley
SU Introduces New Rapist-Victim Counseling Sessions
Susquehanna has recently announced a new program in which victims and assailants in Title IX cases will receive joint sessions at the...
Danielle Bettendorf
