Notice: New SU Partnership Creates Opportunity for RAs
BY: Zack Shiffman Attention all RAs of Susquehanna University! After the unforeseen patch of quicksand emerged and tragically swallowed...
susquirrel
Santa’s Hoe Hoe Hoe
By: The Coolest Bitches In Town NORTH POLE— It looks like the people fucking behind Weber aren’t the only ones making Santa’s naughty...
The Coolest Bitches In Town


SU Financial Crisis Leads to Christmas Violence
BY: YUH Selinsgrove, PA— With the holiday season rapidly approaching, Susquehanna University appears to be frantically scrounging up any...
susquirrel
How about these gas prices?
By Amber Martino Do you know how humiliating it is to have to check the CampusDish website before ordering Starbucks? It’s The Worst. I...
Amber Martino
Top 3 Things that Babies Have but they Shouldn’t Have Because I Want Them and also Babies Don’t Pay
BY: Amber Martino According to numerous highly scientific and exhaustively thorough studies done by the, like, 3 neuroscience students...
Amber Martino


BREAKING NEWS: Elon Musk has seven sons, what’s that about?
BY: Sophia Congdon Reports are flooding in that The Squirrel has just discovered that Elon Musk has seven sons and zero daughters. They...
Sophia Congdon


Elf Union Strikes A Nerve
By: Sophia Congdon NORTH POLE As of today, hundreds of thousands of Christmas Elves have gone on strike. This is not to be confused with...
Sophia Congdon